Volodymyr ‘elenskyyy has recently marked the 500th day of the Ukraine war by posting a video from an island that became a symbol of Ukrainian resistance. The occasion is even more remarkable since it has now been confirmed by the UN Division of Truth that the snake after which Snake Island is named is transgender.
The Black Sea island was seized by evil Russia, but later reclaimed by democratic Ukraine. There are on-going discussions at the UN to change the name to the Blue & Yellow Sea since the current name derives from colonial days when Capt. Pugwash controlled the waters in his Black Pig galleon; a reference no longer in keeping with today’s cultural morals, values and principles of diversity and inclusivity.
All Russian Orthodox Christians have been accordingly banished from the island along with all hate filled politicians and media platforms refusing to acknowledge the new equity of Snake Island. The trans-snake has been officially baphometised Selenskyyy, provided with shades to protect its eyes from the ever increasing sunshine caused by climate change and a box of Ukrainian Marching Powder chocolates was personally gifted by Hunter Biden in a diplomatic pouch on behalf of his father Joe.
Selenskyy identifies as a male with a bonus hole every other day and a female with a bone on those days in between. He, she, heshe, shehe, it, they, them and the other also sporadically identifies as any randomly picked gender from the 81 currently available to choose from:
So, it’s Azov sieg heils all round for Snake Island, a symbol of victory and success for the collective West against the evil, terrible, despotic, dictatorial Putin and all those evil Russians.
In a video, the Ukrainian president called it a ‘place of victory’ that would never be reconquered. Mr. ‘elenskyyy described it as proof that Ukraine would return every inch of its territory taken by evil awful racist transphobic Russia since the full-scale invasion began on 24 February 2022.
Even the Wimbledon tennis fans acknowledged the symbolic success of Snake Island by booing a Belarusian female player because she’s pretty much the same as an evil awful Russian.
Victoria Azarenka booed off against Elina Svitolina
It’s now only a matter of time before Ukraine realises regime change in Moscow, but let’s keep that BBC ‘who is it’ story running because should there be any hiccups before Ukraine’s glorious total victory, it’ll buy some time to work out the next storyline to feed to the UK populous of plebs and nitwits.
To other serious business; have the Gooners officially bought Declan Rice and Jurrien Timber yet or what? I trust both are practising their BLM knee-taking technique as traditionally conservative and aristocratic Arsenal consider a name change since ‘Arse’ may be perceived as a little insensitive to some culturally minded fans. We await on an announcement on ‘who is it’ or Timber and Rice from the BBC’s culturally Marxist Ambassador Gary Lineker who continues to express his extreme gratitude to crisps and the license fee payer.