Andy ‘effin Burn’em – Hope? – And expletives not deleted
Wed 2:50 pm +00:00, 30 Sep 2026
Source: https://jupplandia.substack.com/p/the-labour-conference-presents-andy
Selected extracts;
“Normal people don’t come anywhere near the average party conference, let’s be honest about this.
But the whole fucking circus is still treated as if it matters by the fourth rate creeps who get up on the podiums and the fourth rate creeps who write articles for the equally dying and irrelevant and worthless mainstream media. It’s 40 years or more since an election gave a real choice, and this season of standing ovations for turgid crap still rolls on.
So I’ll dip my toes in the waters of farce at the extreme shallow end of the death of a nation and share a few words on Andy Burnham’s Conference speech. What did the installed puppet of the Globalist Blob have to burble and belch?
The Emotional Highlights
Let’s deal first with the bit that is supposed to tug our heartstrings, show what a genuine Real Boy this wooden cunt is, and form the tear jerking emotional core of the shitty soap opera that is the Rise of Andy Burnham.
Let’s deal with the synthetic, awful, chillingly cynical presentation of Andy’s Dead Dad….a tellingly foul escalation of Kier Starmer’s revolting ‘my father the toolmaker’ reflex.
Whenever a globalist, leftist politician mentions their family, ‘gets emotional’, ‘fights back tears’, tells us how Dad gave them their values, tells us how much they owe to their family, gets dewy eyed talking about their partner, their kids, their parents…..
I just don’t buy a fucking word of it.
I genuinely don’t think these people have any real human connections.
Sorry, no, I’m not buying that.
If they had human emotions they couldn’t be who they are and do what they do.
It’s all fake.
It’s all bullshit.
Everything around them is there to be used.
I think they stand in front of a mirror practicing the trembling lip and the ten second pause.
I think they would feed every person they ever knew into a woodchipper if it got them a two point bounce in the polls.
They don’t have heroes. They don’t love their parents. They don’t love their children. They don’t love their wives. They don’t support football teams. They don’t have normal interests. They don’t have hobbies. They don’t grieve or care or feel a thing.
They are sociopaths who know they must mimic these things, like aliens from some remorseless first wave of infiltrating invasion.
“What is this Earth thing you call….love?”
I think they are about as likely to have loved anyone as Hermann Goering was…..possibly less.
I think Burnham fucking sat in a little team huddle and said “Dad’s death….can we use it?”.
I really do.
Blair’s coffee cups with the kids photos. Obama’s Michelle and the kids stories. Starmer’s ’my father was a toolmaker’.
Now Andy fights back the tears.
Yeah…..no.
Call me cynical. Call me heartless.
I don’t buy it.
I don’t for one second think any of them are capable of normal human connections.
‘Grief’ and family are just two more tools in the cold hard game”
and
“Today, we are supposed to think that Andy’s tears are genuine.
That a man with this record has feelings.
Feelings that were never shown and never felt when people were dying in corridors or when children were being tortured and raped, but are shown and are ‘felt’ when he’s giving a Conference speech and telling us how much his Dad meant to him.
It’s just the Crying Game.
None of it is real. The actions when others suffered show the true nature of the man.
The Hope
The other big emotional counterpoint of the speech was of course Andy’s favourite word: Hope.
Andy is all about telling us how much Hope he is going to give us.
After all, it’s far easier to promise the immaterial and abstract delivery of hope, than it is to deliver material and real things the general public actually want and are demanding.
If Andy ever achieves a single decent thing the only thing it could be would be this: if he keeps on this way, there is some ‘hope’ that Andy will deliver the death-blow to the Idiocracy tactic of the One Word Slogan.
The slogan, the fatuous, summing it up, reducing it down, boilerplate promise has of course always been present in politics. To some extent it’s unavoidable, and there are examples I rather like (MAGA, for instance).
But there is a difference between the sincere slogan that genuinely expresses something a candidate wants to achieve (and stripping that down to a catchy, memorable, campaign-friendly phrase) and the sheer rampant dishonesty, cynicism and stupidity of a vast, all-encompassing one word abstract that doesn’t mean a fucking thing.
Hope is the new Change. Burnham wants Hope to do for him what Change did for Obama and Blair.
Bit when you reduce an entire political identity, an entire promise to the electorate, into these one word abstracts you are really signalling the utter emptiness of your platform, the meaningless nothing that is your value system, and the depth either of your stupidity or your cynicism in thinking the One Word means a damn thing at all. Is Change always good? Of course it fucking isn’t. What Change are you talking about? What measures do you mean? How do we know you won’t change the things we actually want to preserve and protect? What are the costs of this Change? What are the potential dangers?
Hope is even more empty and vacuous.
It’s the promise of a feeling, stripped of meaning and context.
And the really sick thing about is that the person expressing this vacuity is one of the architects of our LACK of hope.
If you are any kind of sane person you have less hope for the UK now than you ever had before.
We KNOW there isn’t a fucking chance in hell that an emoty, soulless, sociopathic fourth rate nothing like Burnham will improve ANYTHING.
We KNOW that nothing works in this country.
We KNOW that Burnham won’t change any of the policies that need changing or deliver any of policies that would create REAL hope rather then it’s imaginary, fictive and constant invocation.
Can we hope that this installed puppet with his NPC robot opinions will suddenly get the economy roaring into life? If we do, we are fucking retarded.
Can we hope that this Prime Minister and this government will stop mass immigration, protect our borders, and prioritise the safety and prosperity of our own citizens? Of course not.
Can we hope that Andy will address two tier policing, restore colour blind sentencing, end the judicial activism of Hard Left judges, and make some genuine effort to endure equality before the law and similar treatment of white or right wing protest movements to that received by BAME, Muslim and left wing protestors? Of course not.
Can we hope that Andy will honour our votes, respect our voices, treat decisions we make or referendums we win as valid? Well one of the very few stark and clear policy directions is a big, bold, elitist Fuck You to everyone who voted for Brexit, so good luck there.
Unless you are an absolute moron or a core, immovable Labour voter (yes, I’m aware it’s the same thing) having Andy Burnham talk about Hope is like having Fred West talk about Love.
The situation of the UK has never been MORE hopeless, precisely because Andy Burnham can get to be Prime Minister, precisely because Andy Burnham is a fairly average representative of our representatives.
He’s a bog standard, factory line, utterly predictable and conformist embodiment of our political and media class. He replaced Starmer and is essentially the same Non Person, the same vacuity, the same howling void.
When he leaves the podium, when he departs, we are likely to get another one just the same.
Imagine a microphone on a stand. And behind the microphone on the stand there is a whirling, seething, roaring emptiness. It’s a gathering of hot air, whipping around, like a little tornado of dust and dead leaves and little sharp pebbles and stones that cut the skin. And it roars and roars and nothing it says makes sense. Everything it touches, it breaks. It goes off the podium, whirling pointlessly. And on comes another, exactly the same. The microphone crackles. Whooosh….whoosh….crsckle….whoosh….. wait, wait, there’s a word, there’s something there…..
HOPE. It’s a battered street sign smeared in shit and patterned with bullet holes, coming round again. It’s all the little tornado of dust and nothingness can offer. It means nothing.”
and
“The Policies
And so we come to the last and least, far less important to them than the whirling nothingness and the emotive shit.
Because nothing substantial is going to be dropped. Nothing good is going to be added. You don’t get sanity, folks. You get more of the same.
More invaders. More rapes. More lies. More oppression of the innocent, more coddling of the guilty. More censorship.
The only things they can add are extensions of the madness. Things can only get worse.”
and
”
The Wider Picture
All this with:
- New legal migrant routes for yet more asylum seekers especially the most dangerous asylum seekers on the planet (Palestinians raised in a terrorist society). There are 500,000 Palestinians in camps who would qualify for these legal routes.
- Fresh fanaticism, escalation and commitment to the madness of Ukraine support and the expense and risks of that.
- No reduction of Net Zero spending and commitments and the continuing destruction of the energy grid.
- Doubling down on censorship.
- Moving to rejoin the EU with huge spending costs associated with that already committed.
No wonder they want you to concentrate on the synthetic emotion bullshit.”
More at the link above
