Joke narrative gets worldwide billing to increase defence spending

 Wed 9:04 am +00:00, 17 Jun 2026  1

posted by Tapestry

Jane and Alan Kelvey said the Admiral Grigorovich did not communicate via radio.

Who are they?

Company directors of a non-trading dormant company called Safety Signs which despite being dormant moved its address to Northwood in recent years, premises costing about £5,000 a year.

They claim –

A Russian warship fired shots at an unarmed yacht crewed by two British retirees in the English Channel in a fresh escalation of tensions with Moscow.

TAP – This has gotta be a joke surely. Well. Yes. The Daily Telegraph has become such.

The 40ft British-flagged vessel called Bright Future, owned by Jane and Alan Kelvey, reported on Tuesday morning that the Admiral Grigorovich, a 409ft-long Russian frigate, had fired warning shots at around 11.40am.

The incident comes after the Smyrtos, a shadow tanker carrying sanctioned Russian oil, was boarded and seized by Royal Marines in the Channel over the weekend.

The Russian defence ministry said Mr and Mrs Kelvey’s yacht was following a “dangerous course” and that one of its ships had made “several attempts” to contact it by firing flares and sound signals at the vessel.

TAP – Sounds like a serious international incident to me worth worldwide news coverage.

But the Kelveys disputed that claim on Tuesday night, saying that they “didn’t do anything wrong” and that allegations they were on a “collision course” were “simply not true”.

TAP – Yes. RUssian warships are very keen to get into discussion with bored retirees on a tiny oat

The British-flagged Bright Future came within 150 metres of the Russian frigate
The retirees, aged 68 and 70, had set off from Lymington, Hampshire, at 4am Tuesday and were headed for the French port city of Cherbourg. They were sailing in the Channel, about 20 nautical miles south off the Isle of Wight, when gunshots rang out.

TAP – 4am? Couldn’t sleep, I suppose.

Military sources told The Telegraph that the incident took place outside UK territorial waters during foggy conditions, and that the Russian vessel had issued several warnings before firing.

TAP – Military sources? Where were they hiding?

Related video: Russian warship fires warning shots at UK yacht in Channel (France 24)

The Kelveys said visibility had been “reasonable” and that they had spotted the larger vessel ahead before making a plan to pass the ship on its starboard side with a berth of 500 metres.

They said the warship then sounded its horn five times, so they changed course by two degrees in an attempt to increase the distance between them.

TAP – A change of course of two degrees? That would not be perceptible, or sufficient.

Mrs Kelvey told the BBC the Russians “didn’t send up any flares, they didn’t try to radio us” and that “it wasn’t an incident until the gunfire started”.

“They didn’t look to us like they were adrift and we were definitely not on a collision course,” she said.

TAP – Very odd statement. Why would a ship be adrift? Did he take bearings? If so what were they?

“There was absolutely no problem as far as we were concerned. We were just going to go sailing straight past them … as soon as they sent the five blasts on the horn, we took [evasive action], not that any was necessary, but then they did the following five and and then the gunfire.

“They’re blaming us and as far as we’re concerned, we were blameless.”

The couple added that they did not know Admiral Grigorovich was a military vessel because it was not broadcasting its GPS location.

Defence sources said the Grigorovich appeared to be drifting rather than acting under its own power at the time, and perhaps felt more vulnerable because it had less ability to manoeuvre.

TAP – Defence sources? WHere were they located?

They added that the frigate had issued several preliminary warning sounds before firing warning shots. It is understood that the shots were single shots rather than automatic gunfire.

TAP – bullshit

Military sources played down the encounter as a “nautical incident” rather than escalatory behaviour by Russia, suggesting that the fault lay with the pleasure boat.

They stressed that issuing warning shots was standard procedure for warships feeling vulnerable to a risk of collision.
….

TAP – Just plain bloody common sense from Russia. Tiresome British couple for Northwood with Ministry of Defence connections who somehow know every detail of what happened. Or claim to.

Responding to the incident in the Channel, James Cartlidge MP, the shadow defence secretary, said: “This shows, yet again, that Russia poses a direct threat to our nation, and underlines why it is critical for Labour to get a grip on defence after the chaos of their ministerial resignations last week.

TAP – No. It doesn’t. Idiot.

The Kelveys, who have written several blog posts about their travels, restored the boat in 2024 when Mr Kelvey wrote that they were now “ready to go” because they had retired.

When they began detailing their travels, they wrote: “We found Bright Future nesting unloved at the back of MDL’s Chatham Marina in the Medway river opposite the historic Upnor Castle.

“Bright Future had been abandoned like the Marie Celeste, with unmade beds, a fridge (not working) full of rusting beer cans and items of clothing left in lockers and strewn around.”

(TAP – Bit Odd don’t you think….and not very likely. Practised bullsit merchants by the sound.)

After the incident in the Channel the Kelveys called the UK Coastguard, who then informed the Navy. They were interviewed by French police on arrival in Cherbourg at around 5pm on Tuesday.

A spokesman for the Ministry of Defence (MoD) said: “Following attempts to contact a British vessel in the Channel, the Grigorovich fired warning shots. These were not aimed at the vessel and were an attempt to prevent a possible collision.

(TAP – Do the navy believe everything they are told by Mr and Mrs types on private yachts?)

“We assess that this is an isolated incident and not linked to the UK’s interception of the Smyrtos this weekend. HMS Mersey has been monitoring the Russian vessel and support has been provided to the crew of the yacht.”

The Grigorovich, one of Vladimir Putin’s Black Sea fleet ships, has been near British waters for some weeks. The vessel has been observed escorting shadow oil tankers and loitering near a wind farm off the Suffolk coast.

Two Royal Navy River-class offshore patrol vessels, HMS Mersey and HMS Tyne, followed the ship through the Channel on Monday afternoon.

Tan Dhesi, the chairman of the Commons defence committee, said that while the incident in the Channel was still under investigation, it was clear that “the UK finds itself in a deeply dangerous world”.

TAP – What a joke.

He added: “Evidently, we need to move much faster, including by increasing defence spending.”

TAP – Do the government and the media think we are complete idiots? Don’t answer that.

The boat Bright Future has a Union Jack gib. All very odd if you ask me.

Telegraph