Resist the scanners and crazy staff at Birmingham airport
Sun 5:21 am +00:00, 29 Mar 2026My usual refusal to go through the scanner was met with the usual catalogue of verbal confusion.
The chaps on the scanners are not too bad. It’s when they call down the heavies from management that the amusement begins.
They are the ones who have something to prove, having been promoted into passenger bullying positions.
‘What’s your reason for refusing?’ is always the starter line? As I’ve had this conversation dozens of times, I know that if I state the reason for my refusal, they won’t understand the reply, so I say to them that the reason for my refusal is medical. I offer to write down the name of my heart condition, which is actually a word from ancient Greek, as I know how their faces will turn blank when I say the name, and they then feel humiliated by their own ignorance, and start to get tetchy.
The young man (30s?) who approached me with tattoes on his arms and his sleeves rolled up, clearly wanted to sort me out and get me to conform.
He insisted that I tell him the name of my condition verbally. I explained to him that unless he had a medical degree, he would not understand the name, but he wouldn’t back down.
He didn’t want me to write it down so as it is quite a long word, I broke the word down into its syllabic parts and spoke them one by one, clapping my hand a little to emphasise each one like a teacher at school.
I started with ‘brad’ and stopped. The tattoo man looked disconcerted and he said ‘go on’, Then I went ‘y’ then ‘card’ then ‘ee; then ‘a’. He was now totally humiliated as he had no idea what I was talking about at all, so he immediately called the Police!!!!
I strolled up and down for ten minutes wondering what any Police officer would make of this long word that no one has ever heard of, but no Police arrived.
Instead a polite older man approached me with a document to read and sign, the same one I’ve seen many times at the airport, but as my glasses were in the coat being scanned on the rollers, I couldn’t read it.
I had crossed the scanner to talk to the staff at the beginning, and was told that I am not allowed to cross the line of the scanner with out permission, but I had been gestured to enter the scanner. I just walked straight through it and didn’t spread out and face the X Ray eye as they expected. I then stopped the other side, and waited for the questions to begin. I was accused of breaking rules by walking through it. I pointed out as usual that there are no signs saying you could not pass through the scanner, and they had gestured me to proceed. There are no signs anywhere or written instructions sayng passengers have to be scanned before boarding their flight. This is probably because the whole operation is unenforceable in law, and is run entirely on the basis of compliance. The airport has no right to fire waves into our bodies so thay say no or write no words.
They insisted that I reverse my steps and be interviewed the other side. I walked back as they requested. They do this as they want to make you wait there as a form of punishment. I never mind waiting and like to walk up and down observing the people cooperating with the X ray system, which airports claim save lives by preventing terrorists from attacking aircraft. I wonder how many deaths these machines cause. Save a few hundred in a decade, but injure millions in all probability.
When the Police failed to show up after ten minutes, a nice chap took me to be scanned and frisked me as usual in a private room, but the tattoo man came along and was looking for some way to upset me if he could, saying I have to take off my shoes before being allowed to walk to the room. No problem. It makes him look stupid not me. He then made his accusation that I had aggressively clapped my hands in his face. I infoirmed him that he was lying and I would report him. He said – ‘go ahead – and offered to take me to his manager’s office, but I said that my report would not be verbal but in writing.
Come on BIrmingham airport. You can do better. It is known that scanners injure children, and in most Asian countries now, children are no longer required to go through them. Turkey the most western country to do this. Only in places like the UK is citizens’ health regarded as expendable. I gives me great pleasure to be on the front line of resistance to airport scanners. I applaud the good staff at the airport who don’t make false accusations against passengers to save their little egos, and who are invariably expremely polite and do their jobs well. The bullying is all about driving the herd through the scanners. It’s time the herd stopped complying. Health is affected. I can get a heart attack from emfs. I prefer to leave the airport in a plane than an ambulance.
