It’s happening. Again. It happens every year, unfortunately.

I am of course referring to the St. Petersburg International Economic Forum, which is an annual gathering of the world’s most anti-globalist minds.

As per tradition, you will not be allowed to enter the venue without a negative PCR test. SPIEF published a helpful video if you have questions about your Virus Status:

REMINDER: Your fancy SPIEF digital ID will not be activated until you test negative for the Virus!

You will also need to buy a ticket.

Tickets cost $19,860.

REMINDER: ESCORTS ARE NOT INCLUDED IN THE TICKET PRICE. ESCORTS ARE SOLD SEPARATELY!

Now let’s examine what will be discussed at this Multipolar Traditional Values Stakeholder Shindig.

A top agenda item is “the transition to a multipolar world economy”, i.e., the creation of a “global carbon regulation system” that will pave the way for long-term “sustainable development”:

Development strategies for production and supply chains are being drafted taking into account the global goals of the Paris Agreement and national plans to reduce emissions and adapt to climate change. Commensurate approaches and the pace of carbon regulation among EAEU, SCO, and BRICS member states will make it possible to build a global carbon regulation system based on an equitable energy transition, including transition technologies, and comply with the principles of the multilateral trading system and technological neutrality. For the EAEU, the convergence of approaches to climate regulation is a long-term priority. […] Will market-based carbon pricing mechanisms help achieve climate goals in the SCO, EAEU, and BRICS countries, and what is a fair price for carbon?

How much should one piece of BRICS-carbon cost? Five digital rubles? Maybe ten? If you come to St. Petersburg you can discuss this important topic with some of the world’s most renowned carbon connoisseurs, including Ruslan Edelgeriyev, Russia’s Special Presidential Representative on Climate Issues, and Tatiana Zavyalova, Sberbank’s Senior Vice President for ESG.

A different panel will discuss “transition finance” and other sustainable activities that prove beyond a reasonable doubt that “BRICS countries actively support the movement to reduce emissions in traditionally carbon-intensive sectors”:

One possible option for achieving climate goals is to promote transition finance practices that help direct cash flows to projects to modernize industries and businesses with high greenhouse gas emissions. Today, BRICS countries actively support the movement to reduce emissions in traditionally carbon-intensive sectors: in September 2021, Russia adopted the Taxonomy of Adaptation (Transition) Projects, while China already has seven regional taxonomies of transition projects. The general approaches were proposed based on China’s initiative and at the G20.

Davos flees in terror!

By the way: which Russian region has saved the most polar bears? Find out at SPIEF ‘24!!!

Experts will also discuss why there is no reason to fear the “rapid development” of biometric technologies in Russia:

The global market for biometric technologies is rapidly developing, and Russia is among its leaders. More and more services using biometrics are appearing in the country, and it is becoming easier and more accessible for Russians to receive government and commercial services. But people are wary of this new technology. Some are afraid of scammers, while others are afraid of leaks. For others, it signifies total control by the state. These stereotypes hinder its development. But what actually are biometrics? Do we need this technology and is there any reason to fear it?

Stop with the hurtful stereotypes! LEAVE BIOMETRICS ALONE, YOU BIGOT.

Russia’s “digital transformation” will receive special attention at SPIEF ‘24. After all, relevant stakeholders will have to work together if they hope to digitalize nearly all “socially significant” services by 2030:

Specialists from across the Global South will also engage in intellectually stimulating conversations about meaningless buzzwords copy-pasted from Davos press releases:

Ultimately, the conference aims to help usher in an extremely sustainable world order based on carbon credits, biometric cattle tags, and expensive hookers.

YES OK BUT DOES SPIEF

HAVE PUPPIES?

checkmate.