The school that prefers to lose sports matches – UPDATED

My son attends a private school where he was complaining about a teacher hitting him, kicking him and dragging him by the collar, as well as shouting at him.  I told him that next time the teacher does this , to stand back and shout at him ‘you kicked me’ or ‘you hit me’ in front of his classmates.  It is the sports teacher or  Sports Director actually, and witnessed by twenty other boys, he attacked again the very next day, and my son duly carried out his instruction to complain and refuse to take part further in whatever was going on.

We filed a complaint with the school immediately.

They said they would investigate but first would report the incident to the Local Authority who decided not to investigate after two days without speaking to us.

The school investigation took place a week later and my son was put through several meetings with the accused teacher present at each, profusely apologising, and we were told the school thought that the incident was accidental, or rather unintentional.  We were asked not to talk about it again, and we wrote to the teacher accepting his version of events to let our son have some peace as he was looking very worn down and depressed by all the meetings, held without proper support for him.

We were assured that there would be changes by the Deputy Head, and that we need not worry about further assaults on our son.  What more could we ask for?

Since then, there have been no further assaults, but there has been continued shouting at pupils on a regular basis from the same teacher, and we have noticed our son being strangely dropped from sports teams usually after a brilliant performance.  He was dropped from the school football A team, and the cricket B team in the summer.   This seems to be connected to a general anti-boy pupil policy by the school, which gives girls priority over boys in many ways.   But in sport, the better the boys are at their sport the less likely they are to get into the school team.

I warned the headmaster what was going to happen when my son was dropped with two other talented players as the school’s first team is generally weak.  I predicted a loss of at least 5-0 in the next game when I saw the Head at morning drop-off.  In fact they lost 7-0.  The team entered a contest at Shrewsbury School two days later, played 6 matches and conceded 20 goals to zero in the day.  Next match was lost 8-0.  That’s 34 goals conceded in a week versus zero!!!!!

The year before in the Under 11’s the school made the Final, and won a competition at another school.

Similar things are going on in cricket.  My son scored fifty runs and bowled a hat trick, taking four wickets in two overs hitting stumps (only two overs per bowler).  Next match he was demoted from the Bs to the Cs when he was wondering if his performances might put him into the As.

In football, he played in the Under 13 A team aged 11, when they won the match 2-1 and he was mysteriously dropped the next game, along with two other boys who were among the stronger players.  Why?  It was a crazy decision, which since then gives the B team easy victories every match and the A team gets hammered.  The As are endlessly depressed while the Bs have games that are too easy and can be a bit boring

My son is actually relieved not to be in the A team as he says there is no shouting from the coach in the B team and it’s actually fun, and there is always shouting from the Director and no one can relax or laugh.  He says the games though are a bit boring, especially as he’s been demoted as regards position.

The Director is also the one who chooses the positions on field.  And he’s put my son as a fullback when he is  normally a fast left winger.  He’s put the striker at left wing and they normally work as a pair.  And they score time and again.   Now there is effectively no left wing and the team attacks on the right or down the middle, with no one far enough forward on the left.  If there was the victories would be even bigger than they are.

I am at a loss to understand what is going on, and I can find no rationale which makes any sense.   The Director has to stop the Bs winning too easily, I suppose, or his system of reversing the teams won’t work well and people will start talking.  Whatever it’s all about, no one has any idea.  The Bs tell me they would defeat the As but the Head of Sport never arranges a game like that for obvious reasons.

In his club my son is acknowledged by the coach as the best player in his year, winning man of the match over and over.  I’m a parent.  I’m allowed to say it like it is.

I have spoken to other parents.  It seems there is a pattern to the teacher’s behaviour, with star performers barred from playing for the school.

One told me her elder son never played even once for the school’s first team despite being possibly the best player in  the school.  He and his father pleaded with the Director asking what he needed to do to be chosen.  At Shrewsbury School he went straight into the school side (100 boys in a year against 25 at Prestfelde) and has played there ever since.  It seems we are not alone.

A hockey player at the school right now has been selected to play for Shropshire but has yet to be given a game for the school.  His family cannot understand why and are also asking what more they need to do to be chosen.  There is definitely a pattern in the Director blocking people who could win games.  He is the only one I’ve ever come across in my longish life who does this – a freak.  I checked out with a colleague of his from his former school Birchfield and they said he was exactly the same there, running only with a group of favourites, and no one else got a look-in.  This person knew him extremely well.

The role he plays at the school leaves scars.  Old boys I have played cricket with for Shrewsbury Cricket Club say things like ‘I hate Mr X’ (5c years after leaving the school) or ‘Mr X hates kids’  and ‘Mr X has no common sense’ and ‘No one likes Mr X’, although strangely my son says he is a good classroom teacher with biology, but goes mental when it comes to sports.  He is obviously not of low intelligence so you can’t say he doesn’t realise what he’s doing.

Maybe those in the favoured sporting inner circle think he’s wonderful.  I’ve no idea.  It can’t be much fun losing 34 goals to nil in a week.  It will be interesting to observe how he moves from here.

Prove me wrong in the comments below.

We agreed to be part of a cover up when asked to keep quiet about the physical assault, in order to protect our son from more ‘meetings’ and we agreed to not talk about what happened, as long as the abuse stopped.

In my opinion it hasn’t stopped and we are again concerned at the situation.  Barring players from teams without justifiable reason is abuse.  Putting them to play in wrong positions to stop them scoring goals is another form of abuse.  All the boys are suffering from the situation with As having to face heavy defeats week in, week out.  B team oppositions find the team far too strong and I feel sorry for them.  One or two in the B team seem happy to be winning matches.

If you recognise anyone anything in this text, you are entitled to tell me I’m wrong or add your thoughts in the comments below.

To try and give this story a happy ending, here is my son singing and playing keyboard.  He’s got two more years at this school, as he likes the music staff and all other teachers, has many friends and doesn’t want to leave despite the freak show going on in the sports arena.  He describes the situation as ‘being in jail’.   Isn’t that where one of the staff ought to be?  He says ‘I’m in jail, but it’s my fault Dad as I choose to stay at the school’.

(Please let it end!)

I’ve been invited to a meeting next Thursday at 4pm by the school, and will see what the school has to say then.

I see silence as the most dangerous course of action when dealing with abuse against children, and of course silence is all the school wants.

The bully is gaining in confidence, and is re-establishing himself after the investigations fade away from his memory.  He is failing in his duty to put up sensible teams into competition, and seems to be attempting to inflict more damage on children to boot in his usual manner, albeit at this stage, that it’s more psychological than it used to be.  Psychological is sometimes worse for the victim than physical, as I can testify from schooldays long ago.  You can get over being hit fairly quickly (depending on the severity of course) but not constant manipulation designed to break your confidence.

Vigilance at the school seems poor, and supervision is not apparent.

Do they even think they have a problem?

I’ll find out next week.


The Deputy Head of the school told me that my son would not be selected if he had to choose the top eleven football players in the school.  He added that he considered I was not treating him with respect.  As he was the primary leader of the fake enquiry into the Head Of Sports’ abuse of my son, I informed him to consider the anger that abuse of a child creates in a parent.  He seemed unmoved.

Prestfelde does not need this mistake to go on any longer.

Our family has kept quiet for a year.  We are not going to be quiet any longer.

Sean is not leaving the school.  He will be there nearly two more years by his own choice.  My lawyer tells me not to bring legal action against a school where my son is happy..

In the picture below (removed after family request) he is looking happy after the tournament when he scored nine goals in one morning in July 2023, when his team yet again won a series.

Hello Prestfelde?  Apparently not interested….

UPDATE 2 – Saturday –  Happy days.  A glimmer of hope.  A different teacher took control of today’s Under 12s game, thankfully.  He is younger and has no freakery about him.  Sean was back at left wing, and they won another game of football – as is the norm – this time at 5-3.  He was taken off for two minutes and in that time the oppo scored 2 goals.  He was brought straight back on after the second goal to launch an immediate reply score.  Yes I’m biased as a parent but how many times does it happen that the opposition scores when he’s subbed off?


UPDATE 3 –  Thanks for all the messages of support.  None of an opposite persuasion.  Some are very supportive indeed saying the story is well explained.  One or two parents are very angry indeed.

The problem will be if the school digs in and can’t understand what the situation is.  They live in a different reality where parental viewpoints are sidelined, while their minds have been reframed to the point that they accept the unacceptable.

We are accused of being the ones having wrong perception.

It is they who have no grasp on what is really happening.

Or the school secretly approves of psycho abuse especially of boys.  It does seem to be the case.

I know of no girl sports stars blocked from teams.

In the playground girls rarely or never get detentions.  They can assault or annoy a boy (cunningly so no one sees it).  He retaliates and the boy cops it. Same in the classroom.  There has to be a reason for all of this.  Some teachers never discipline girls but hand out detentions to boys with regularity.  It’s like they want the boys humiliated in every way they can think of.

The school symbol is the four corners of heaven, same as Starbucks cafe has, and some others, which signifies the Pleiades.  That’s where the reptilians are said to come from……..

As for the phallic sword through the ring, you couldn’t make a better representation of anal rape if you tried.


The worst thing of all of this is that Sean a tiny boy of 11 stood up to his abuser with enormous courage, shouted back at him, and told his parents what was happening, but then the school covered up.  They never invited us his parents to come into the school and give our side of the story, then or since.  They dragged him through meeting after meeting with his abuser, until he caved in.  The headmaster seems a nice man but he is so far showing little strength, as yet, in dealing with all of this, and I have explained to him what I believe to be going on.  He should have got rid of the abuser instantly.  The fact that the Headmaster and Deputy Head Teacher covered up the abuse and protected the abuser is to their eternal shame, as I told them.  The Head was very new in position.  Maybe he knows more than he has so far admitted to knowing.  I still feel some trust for him as a person, but not for many others in this situation.

This is a Church Of England school and the church after all are the experts in stopping exposure of what’s going on abuse wise.

The lesson for the headmaster is if a child has the courage to speak out about abuse, don’t use all the tricks in the book to crush him down again.   Don’t do what your employers hiding in the background are telling you to do.  Follow your own instincts as to what is right or wrong.  Put your job on the line to protect the children in your care, not your salary or any staff who have become perpetrators.  Don’t obey evil that hides in the shadows.  Headmasters and headmistresses  are appointed by people that hide.  They are chosen for their weakness as much as their strengths so the networks that abuse children can prey using teachers that are carefully allowed into place.  The parents trust the nice smiling face that meets them every day at the school, but they only work for others who they never see.

Sadly Sean’s headmaster got it wrong, so far, and he needs to shape up.   He is possibly being naive as to the depth of evil that is all around him.  For him this could turn into a tragedy.

The Headmistress of my other son’s school had it right.  I asked her how she saw her role.  My job, she said, a Catholic nun in her eighties heading up another church school, is to keep the paedophiles away, she said.  Keep them at bay, and let the children play.  That school was the most successful that I’ve ever known, and she took no shit from anybody.

The rest are riddled with a core of secretly abusive and pedo teachers, or even headteachers.

A teacher at Prestfelde was netted by a Police Online Child Porn Operation a few years ago, and was dismissed.

BBC NEWS | Education | School ‘had checked’ child porn case teacher

Many of the school heads are regular family men and women who often have absolutely no idea as to how the pedo networks operate.  The music teacher at Sean’s last school was trying his luck too, abusing him with humiliation (handing sweets to every child except him and making dance as a ballerina in front of his classmates while they laughed at him – sick or what.  He won the school All Star singing competition, but was the only child not asked to perform again for the Seniors) and barring him from the choir and other musical opportunities, but luckily we got him out of there and at least at Prestfelde he is now allowed to sing, and is properly encouraged.  This is simply a pattern we see now, especially abuse against boys designed to keep their confidence low, and we know exactly what we are up against.   Wise up parents.  Your children are not as safe as you think they are.  Schools will get glowing reports from the Inspectorates but that’s only because they don’t rock the system’s boat.  There are some rotten teachers in place harming your child day by day, and you need to become active to defend them.  Try asking them what is going on.  You might be amazed and shocked at what you hear.

UPDATED sunday8.10.23  Talk of shuffling players after another heavy defeat at 11-0 for the A team.  Teacher admits it is getting embarrassing.  B team told to play for positions in A team.  Let’s see what comes next…






18 Responses to “The school that prefers to lose sports matches – UPDATED”

  1. newensign says:

    See David Adelman’s book “School is no Place For Children” and Video
    He says school is military training, teaching your children to be compliant citizens. Children start with a high IQ but by the time they leave it has been lowered as well as being dumbed down!

    • Tapestry says:

      Home schooling isolates children too much so you are forced to deal with the schools. Incompetence might be acceptable, but deliberate physical and psychological bullying is out of the ark these days. It’s time for XXXXXXXXXX school to get up to date or face the consequences.

  2. pete fairhurst 2 says:

    Considering that you are paying for Sean’s education then, the school does seem to be very high handed. The sports results are surely secondary, it’s this guys behaviour that needs getting a grip on. How could he get away with this for so long?

    I would upbraid the school on it’s processes rather than its sports results, they are surely secondary. Just reading your short summary then it is clear that Sean was treated unfairly

    “my son was put through several meetings with the accused teacher present at each, profusely apologising” & “as he was looking very worn down and depressed by all the meetings, held without any support for him”

    That feels abusive to me, one young lad against the Establishment closing ranks? Have you spoken with the Director of Education at the local authority? Why not start at the top?

    Good luck with it Tap

    On a lighter note, I attended a red brick Grammar school just 3 miles outside the Liverpool City boundary. Hence I am not a scouser, I’m a “woolyback” in the local parlance:-)

    Our sports teacher was one of those “cold shower to start the day” types, gung ho, very fit, and very enthusiastic. Being a Grammar with pretensions we were all forced to play rugby rather than the game we all loved, soccer. Only the Secondary Moderns played soccer. Anyhow at the end of each rugby lesson, which I loathed btw, the teacher would gather us all round for a pep talk. And finish with his immortal phrase “Balls to me boys”. To which we often chimed “Hear, hear, Sir!”
    He never did twig 🙂

  3. Tapestry says:

    Thanks Pete. The football results are the symptoms of the freak regime, not the disease itself. Yes we are mostly concerned about the psychological effects on our son, but what can we do other than expose the school which, it seems, will tolerate unacceptable level of abuse of children as long as no one finds out and the money keeps rolling in. And who cares about the results as long as the Sports Director can please his chosen favoured pupils. I actually feel sorry for the boys that are chosen to be in the inner circle, as they are being promoted to a level they will crash from later on (and are crashing as we speak), but maybe they’ll have the private school superior attitude ingrained by then so it won’t matter, as they order their unlucky troops over the top to catastrophe. I’m laughing at the mess as well as being ashamed by it all, Ian. Humour’s a way to cope for the boys as well as the parents. You have to say that losing three games of football with a total 34-0 takes some organising. Perhaps he’s trying to make it onto television as the British record holder for lost matches. If it’s the system then there you go. At least everyone will know what’s going on, and there’ll be no more brushing it all under the carpet as psychological damage is inflicted on dozens of pupils. Maybe this is what’s wrong with our country – the Ruperts and the Henrys being selected at an early age to bring mayhem to the rest of society, and freak sports teachers are being put in place for exactly this purpose. But even the system must baulk at the speed and obviousness of this particular disaster zone. If you’re going to do cultural programming, it needs to be more subtly done, so the victims blame themselves. Evil likes the shadows. Truth prefers the light of day.

  4. pete fairhurst 2 says:


    “what can we do other than expose the school which tolerates any level of abuse of children” & “there’ll be no more brushing it all under the carpet as psychological damage is inflicted on dozens of pupils”

    You could move him to another school if it’s that bad Tap. Why would you keep him there with such a rancid regime? Why pay them another penny? There must be other good schools nearby

    Maybe that would be too traumatic for Sean. If so then, best suck it up and keep HIM grounded. Teach him to play their game to his own benefit. Ongoing conflict will not help him. In my experience then, jobsworths like these have long memories. They don’t forget and will use any subtle, and unprovable, discrimination that they can

    Remember the kids who recorded their woke teachers spouting woke propaganda and using overt threats to 11 year olds? Absolutely against all teaching principles but woke rules. Heresy to object in the modern lunatic asylum

    Yes, humour is essential Tap, it’s the scouse MO, always leave them with a laugh! I reckon that comes partly from the massive historical Irish influence of the city. During the manufactured famine in the mid 1800’s the city was full of Irish. I’m a quarter Irish myself, my paternal grandmother was the offspring of famine refugees. Only they came to rural Lancashire, rather than Liverpool. So I’m a woolyback! 🙂

    • Tapestry says:

      As long as the school doesn’t start poisoning the children’s food, we’ll keep him in place, as he’s pretty happy. It can’t get much worse on the sports front to be honest. If they put him down again to the Cs in football and put him fullback he’ll score ten goals a match. Eleven year old boys enjoy that kind of thing. The school obviously has no interest in winning games of football and prospective parents should be told. Had we known this we would have gone elsewhere. It’s a bit late now. The school states that it is strong in sports. It certainly could be but chooses to be otherwise so Grabber Jobsworth’s ego can be mollified.

      Sorry – did I call you Ian, Pete. That’s how upset I feel by this whole thing. I can’t even get your name right!

      • pete fairhurst 2 says:

        I gathered that Tap!

        Two more points:

        Why not consider a meeting with the headmaster? To calmly tell him that his school has been rumbled. But that ,in the interests of harmony for Sean then, you will be backing off, but staying alert. And that any such further personal nonsense will result in an immediate further meeting with him. That ultimately, he is responsible for his staff’s behaviour and that there will be consequences for HIM if he still fails to get a grip. All in a calm and sweet way of course 🙂

        Meanwhile, why not find Sean some sport away from the school? My 13 yo grandson excels at both rugby and cricket. So he joined local clubs years ago. He doesn’t need the school to develop his sports. We live in Yorkshire of course where good sport is very widespread and cricket clubs and rugby clubs abound

        Maybe not so much in the English borders of Wales. But, if it is possible then, this will have the added benefit of broadening his social experiences across a wider section of society. My daughters lad plays against Asian city kids from Leeds, excellent cricketers. And rural farmers too, tough rugby players. And chavvy iks from his own town too

        • Tapestry says:

          Great suggestions, Pete. We can move out of the school for some positives, but we have to deal with the dangers of a serial abuser in the school, and I am not convinced the school is vigilant enough or even cares that they are losing control.

          • pete fairhurst 2 says:

            Thanks Tap, good luck with it all. I hope that you find an acceptable solution

            Btw, I should have said earlier that Sean has a lovely voice. If that sound is straight up, with no electronic enhancement by the Apple computer then, he has a very rich and resonant voice, and is a budding talent. Get him on the stage as soon as you can!

            My second grandchild, the beautiful B, is 11 years old and sings and plays piano too. She, and her sporty 13 yo bro M, who is a guitarist, have formed a band with a drummer and are already playing on stage at local events. It’s great for their confidence and musical development, simply brilliant. Of course a good teacher helps and my son in law is very keen to develop them and pays for a a good private teacher

            They both attend the local High School which is a decent place, if subservient to all the central woke style nonsense agendas like all public education establishments are. Nevertheless, if one stands firm and refuses to kow tow then, this nonsense can be minimised. My grandson was the only lad in his class that refused to wear a mask. during the scamdemic. He insisted on an exemption pass and all his mates were subsequently jealous because he had the balls to say no. His parents had educated him and it was all done without rancour or upset

            • Tapestry says:

              Same for Sean as your grandson, Pete, the only one in the school to refuse a mask. The teachers kept trying to change his mind but he stood his ground. Is that why he was targeted by the bully? You wonder if these people operate as a pack picking out vulnerable children to have a go at. Sean looks sweet and his voice is cute as you say, but he’s like his mother and backs down to no one! Just the type private schools can’t stand. I guess I remember the programme from sixty years ago – brainwashing kids that they owed it to their country to fight in wars. I am sure government agencies are still in the background, as they were then, trying to identify potential recruits for their sadistic future plans. These are reptilian foundations with no humanity, or interest in humanity. They want to break people mentally so they can be controlled. It won’t work. Thanks for your compliments. The voice is natural as you hear it, and I lie in the bath upstairs in luxury hearing him sing most days. Your family sounds very similar. Yet he still wants to be a footballer at this age, which is why it’s frustrating having an uncommunicative bully in charge of the school’s programme. No one minds losing and being outperformed by others. That’s life, but when the school drops their best players from the team as a punishment for playing too well, it’s kinda cookie, isn’t it. In fact it boils the blood. Why put a psycho in charge of a whole school? I guess you might say the same thing about the country! It’s all one and the same. And by the way Pete, I greatly appreciate you chatting with me today. It’s got it all out of my system so I can see straight again!

  5. Tapestry says:

    From Denden Quirino – I’m sorry to hear that Sean has been abused by that awful sports teacher. You’re right to tell Sean that when that teacher verbally or physically abuses him again, he should shout out that teachers verbal or physical acts so that there are witnesses who can attest on behalf of Sean. Although they may be afraid to defend Sean for fear of being the next victim of abuse.

    Apparently there are other victims of the sports teacher, so why not form a group of parents of those abused, with as many witnesses as possible, then complain as a group of parents to the school authorities. But as you say, that the school officers want to keep you silent & ” sweep this transgression under the rug “, then you have no recourse but to file a case in court against that teacher. Then the school may have to get rid of that teacher. But as you mentioned, Sean likes his other classes & teachers. If other teachers encourage & help develop his musical & artistic talents, then that poses a dilemma for you. But still, there’ s strength in numbers. So at this point, my 1st suggestion may be the better way to go. That’s my ” 2–cents worth” !!!

  6. ian says:

    Sean has a great voice Henry. He can go places. Congrats too on not going down to the school and pinning the sports guy against the wall. It would have been my first instinct, though I’d have realised how stupid it was probably before I left the house. bookies odds. Pensioner V handy young sports teacher. Sports teacher 10:1 fav.

  7. newensign says:

    I can appreciate your anger tap with the private school your son goes to and agree that he needs to associate with other children. I don’t think its the case of just a single bad teacher. I think you will find its the same policy, but presented differently is pervasive throughout the whole education system both public and private, controlled by grants and indoctrination in teacher training colleges. Its a pity not more parents like you stand up to the tyranny in schools and let them know we know their game plan. Here in the south we have a home schooling centre where parents can send their children for particular subjects, no doubt there may be something similar near you? I do hope your son has not been too traumatised with what he has gone through and that it will serve to make him stronger to face circumstances as they unfold in his future. HOPE – home schooling link:

  8. newensign says:

    I forgot to add this appropriate Karen Bracken article Tap:
    The best thing a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, retired teachers etc. can do for a young child is to home educate. Get a group together and share the work. The public school system cannot be fixed no matter how many School Board meetings you attend and beg them to respect parents rights. The public school system is not broken. It always was about the destruction of the family, changing our culture, changing behaviours, attitudes and beliefs since the day Horace Mann brought Prussian education to America. Here are 2 great options if you want an organized home education alternative. FREEDOM PROJECT ACADEMY and PUBLIC SCHOOL RESCUE. For help, resources and referrals go to PUBLIC SCHOOL EXIT. Source

    • Tapestry says:

      Great feedback guys. My preferred reaction to abuse is to expose it and see if it the perpetrators like it being known about. Then I try to seek a deal with the system that the abusers are removed. Failing that we are at war. My system of fighting is verbal not fists – because I win and they lose. The problem with that is they then want revenge and they take it out on your child. There are other schools not far away but so far it hasn’t come to that. Maybe there’s a human being running the school not a robot but I’ve yet to be sure about that. They can’t not know what the sports director is doing, and they do nothing about it. Case proven. They’re robots. They even asked me to keep quiet that the perpetrator was hitting Sean. All his classmates have confirmed that he was individually targeted. Why would he single out Sean? Is he sadistic gay? Now he’s deviously putting him at fullback and dropping him from teams. Is he overcome with pleasure at the power he has over a small boy he fancies? Wouldn’t surprise me. Not married – never left home – Over 50. Abusive. Great school isn’t it. I am meeting them next week. Let’s give them one more chance in case they are capable of taking responsibility for a serious problem that they have at their school. They will ask me to not talk about this again. Sorry. Not this time. We tried cooperating and it got nowhere. Trust is dead. It’s verbal guerilla warfare from here, until we are safe. Right now you get a creepy feeling every time you drop your kids and see him proudly parading around the place. Really we don’t need to see him again. But we will for two more years if nothing changes as before. I won’t be fake. My anger surges and I need to write it down somewhere to get my rage out. Ian would work another way. Each to their own.

  9. Tapestry says:

    I keep loading the story about the teacher at Prestfelde who was netted by Police Online Child Porn operation and it gets deleted every time.

  10. NPP says:

    Brilliant song.
    Lovely rendition.

    School is a challenge. It was for me; generally failed me or did I fail it?

  11. Tapestry says:

    school tried to stop you Ned as it did us all. In your case it failed!