Something Lighter. A non politically correct poem I wrote way back, but found today.

I worked with some young lads, and listening to them gave me the idea.

I know it’s different to the usual stuff, but these aren’t usual times, and well,

It’s a change.

Pull the Ugly Bird

I was out on a stag night with a few of my mates

About twenty of us in  all

We were out on the town living it up

All intent on having a ball

Let’s have a game said one of the lads

We’ll all put a tenner in the pot

And whoever can pull the ugliest chick 

Gets to keep the lot

Was it my lucky night or was it not

I ‘d spotted an absolute hound

The night was yet exceedingly young

And I’d netted the 200 pound

Would you like a drink? I asked her up close

Whispering it into her ear.

I would love one  she said sliding across

Pulling her chair really near

My mate flashed a sign sort of egging me on

Indicating that I had won

I started to relax it was all really easy

And all just a bit of good fun

I then heard some giggling from a gang of young girls

the whole bunch  just giggled and laughed 

 When I quickly turned round they all smiled at me

 pulling faces as if I was  daft

She said you’re playing that game, pull the ugly bird

You lads always like a bit fun

I said how do you mean? I’m in shock, so surprised,

(Oscar needed) with my face set on stun.

I said how did you know we were playing the game

I never realised I’d done anything funny.

She said don’t be so soft we were playing it too 

And thanks to you I just won the money.




2 Responses to “Something Lighter. A non politically correct poem I wrote way back, but found today.”

  1. Tapestry says:

    made me laugh!

    • ian says:

      Thanks Tap’, my bad for posting it. I take these notions from time to time. Impulsive behaviour lol.