The Cult of WTF

If you’re finding yourself muttering WTF a lot more than usual; every story in the news, every advert on tele, every letter from your child’s school, every shop you go into, every phone call with that person you used to like &/ or be related to etc…

Welcome to ‘the cult of WTF’.

I think we were previously known as ‘the cult of batshit crazy conspiracy theorists’, then it all came true & it got embarrassing.

Please know that you are not mentally ill, you are not a conspiracy theorist (albeit only in the sense that it’s not a theory; they are indeed out to get you), & you are not alone. It’s actually a wonderful place to be.

You might feel like you’re mentally ill, but this is only because our society is very sick, & being healthy in a sick society is for want of a better expression, fucking hard work.

You might think you’re a conspiracy theorist, but this is only because the people out to get you coined this phrase a long time ago to discredit anyone beginning to WTF in their direction.

You might think you’re alone, but this is only because when you walk into a shop & WTF at the rules, face masks (& soon to be vaccine barcode stations), you will have no idea how many other people’s WTF-ometers are close to breaking point too.

So, how do we know who else is in the cult of WTF?
How do we find each other?
How do we know who we can talk to about all the WTF’s & know we’re in safe company?

The answer is simple: Smiling.

The modern day equivalent of the freemason handshake. It’s happening in supermarkets all across the land. Like a shining beacon in a sea of thick fog, you notice the rarity of a face.

You notice the absence of a lanyard.
You feel your excitement build.
You take the plunge.
You look them in the eye…
…And you know.

An entire conversation plays out somewhere above your heads, & without a single word being passed between you, you feel what can only be described as an intimate connection.

WTF just happened?
Why do I love this stranger?
Am I a lesbian?
No it’s not like that.
I felt love though…

That’s how we communicate in the cult of WTF.

It’s awesome.

There’s no initiation ceremony, you don’t have to ask to join, you do it completely by accident, sometimes after much resistance – like being swept down a river & trying to hang onto the weeds because if you let go you don’t know where you’ll end up or who with. You’re scared you’ll turn weird… but everything already is weird – that’s why you’re WTF’ing so much.

You can’t help it, you have to let go eventually; the dirty weeds can’t hold you anymore. And they stink.

Then you find yourself here. With the rest of us!


You might feel a bit awkward in this new territory, especially if you might’ve previously put one of these ? on one of our very serious anti-establishment Facebook posts… But we’ll let that go & give you a hug anyway.

That’s how we roll here.

Here, there is no place for bitching, snitching, controlling, trolling or Matt Hancock. We own our bodies, we own our minds & we allow others to do the same.

I know. Maverick.

We use words that make the BBC cross – words like freedom & sovereignty. We don’t care. We crack on anyway.

There are so many more of us than you’d ever know, & we’re quietly building a different way; one that doesn’t require permission to breathe.

The cult of WTF is really the New Earth in disguise.

The doors are always open, please feel free to join us at any time.

The Cult of WTF


5 Responses to “The Cult of WTF”

  1. emm jay says:

    WTF! … that’s me, in the first paragraph! My middle name is ‘WTF’ and I now live in ‘WTF’ Street in ‘WTF’ Central.

    • ian says:

      WTF and FFS need to be a constant part of our vocabulary these days emm jay. Crazy times.

      • emm jay says:

        They are pressure valve release ian aren’t they? I am usually placid and slow to anger, but, the blatant in your face stupidity, every day, feels like a battle to save your very soul … ffs!

  2. seeker101 says:

    Lol’d for real at the line, “previously known as ‘the cult of batshit crazy conspiracy theorists’, then it all came true & it got embarrassing.” Some of my social media friends been asking, anybody got any new conspiracy theories, all mine have come true?
    In a country town supermarket, first week of no lockdown in SA but still masking. After being harangued 5 times by different staff, and furtively carrying on our shopping, we came around the corner into fruit & veg aisle, and, dramatic pause, there she was, a picture of infinite beauty, a woman with a mouth and a nose, our eyes meet, my hand came to my mouth and touched it followed by a smile and a thumbs up. She smiled back and the three of us conspired for several minutes on the herd mentality of every other souls there. Then another uncovered one walked by and we all smiled all over again. It’s a great and steady coming together that’s unfolding.

  3. Occams says:

    I have a meme of a guy shielding his eyes from the sun, scanning the distance…..

    It reads:

    Me, looking for new conspiracy theories. Most of mine are now just facts.