The Feel-Good Hoax of the Year


An Analysis of The Thai Cave Rescue Hoax

by Gladys Night Shyamalan and the Pups.

As I’m sure many readers have already surmised, the feel-good story of the year, which involved the “successful rescue” of a Thai soccer team from a flooded underground cave, was a massive hoax. Like virtually all of the major (and increasingly minor) news stories these days, this was a work of fiction from start to finish. That said, I thought it is worth dissecting the script a bit, as there is some incremental value to be gained from unpacking this Intel disaster.

The official story is that twelve Thai soccer players and their coach, having completed a soccer scrimmage in the oppressive Thai heat, decided to take a walk in a cave (while leaving their expensive bikes unguarded and unlocked outside), for reasons which were not fully explained. They quickly became trapped by rising waters, and then proceeded to wander 1.8 miles into the cave complex (and 180 meters below the surface), with virtually no equipment, and then spent the next nine days in total darkness, with nothing to eat but a handful of snacks one player had received as a birthday present. After a 9-day rescue effort, they were all successfully rescued (with no visual injuries/trauma), thus ending an ordeal that lasted an incredible 18 days from start to finish.

Reading the official version of the events, its easy to see how ridiculous this story is, but nevertheless, many of the people I spoke with in my day-to-day life believed it. I attribute this primarily to the general lack of life experience that has come to personify the citizenry of the Western world. While every human suffers in their own unique way, modern society provides a cradle-to-grave experience that shelters most people from dealing with situations that are outside their comfort zone, such as going without food (or water) for days on end. This is of course not their fault, and neither is the fact that the modern educational system was designed to strip students of their critical thinking ability by focusing almost entirely on rote memorization, thus making them more obedient workers and more compliant consumers. This combination of relative comfort and institutional brainwashing has allowed the Families to gain a degree of control over modern society that is absolutely breathtaking in its scope and depth. Only in the past decade (since 9/11), has that control really begun to slip, and as a result some citizens have begun to wake up.

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