Presstitution avoids the real news

Dear Tap.

Have you heard. ‘We’ have a new Royal baby. Oh how exciting; I do wonder what his name will be? Moses? Kevin? Adolf? Oh, and The Pope is on a $52million trip in Brazil. They are so glad because lots of little children are so very concerned about their futures and the Pope will deliver words of comfort and joy. 

However, stop press because at 8.42am, Wednesday 24 July 2013, the BBC Radio 4 Today Programme reported: ‘Beyonce soldiered through a concert in Montreal after her hair got caught in a fan. Neil McCormick, chief music critic at the the Daily Telegraph, and Gemma Cairney, radio presenter and former fashion stylist, reflect on other concert disasters.’
BBC presenter Justin Webb comments: “She comes out of this very well.”
The media experts inform us how Blur’s “Damon Albarn once broke his foot at Glastonbury, yet returned to finished the gig’, and then Justin reminds us of the Janet Jackson incident; how “… one of her nipples became exposed at the Superbowl.”
They continue, “… the thing with today’s celebrity, your every move is being monitored… what about health and safety, it’s a volatile environment on stage.”
Oh come on chaps and chapess, you’re forgetting, there’s no discrimination in today’s modern world as we are all monitored all the time, not just the celebs. 

You may find official arsehole clarification of this taxpayer funded presstitution reporting at:

Oh, as a footnote, since we are discussing darling little children, did you know that between 01 January 2006 to 24 October 2009, CIA drone strikes have left at least 746 people dead: 

Among those casualties, Pakistani officials describe at least 147 civilians, 94 of whom were children. If anything, these figures are probably low-ball estimates. Yes, 94 Pakistani children killed by Obama’s US drones, but let’s not focus too much on unpleasant details when we have so much positive presstitutional news to enjoy!

Oh, on the other footnote, Auntie Beeb asks if human beings could realistically land on Mars? I wonder why they don’t ask Andrew Basiago since he and Obomba have already been there and done that. It was apparently called Jump Room technology.

Beeb Edit: don’t be silly Ned, we are a serious public broadcasting outlet and require fact based evidence to substantiate our presstitution.


The Tap Blog is a collective of like-minded researchers and writers who’ve joined forces to distribute information and voice opinions avoided by the world’s media.

3 Responses to “Presstitution avoids the real news”

  1. Anonymous says:

    The presstitutes had the hot weather to ramble on about… now they’ve got the royal baby.

    We are bombarded with anything but real news.

    No wonder hardly anybody bothers with the presstitutes anymore.

  2. NPP says:

    Stop press: it’s George Alexander Louis! Not Kevin then. Oh thank fuckerty poo for that. We can all breath with a sigh relief!

  3. Anonymous says:

    All bets are off.

    The royal baby has a name.

    We can all stop falling for the hype and get on with our own lives.

    Thank God.

    Will presstitutes get a life too?!?

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