Three Line Whip reports dear old Quentin Davies lurking back on Conservative benches after his dramatic and highly public decision to welch on his Conservative colleagues in 2007 and cross the floor to support his hero, Mr Bean. He was, he said at the time when Bean was inexplicably appointed as Labour leader, ‘a man of greatness and conviction’.
Now we see him creeping pathetically back across the political divide in total silence, like a lemon with all the juice squeezed out, hoping for some reason that he won’t be placed in the trash can.
The problem is that the cliches to describe the farce that Labour have become have run out.
We’ve had Labour MPs described as ‘cornered rats’ by Iain Dale, a ‘flock of sheep’ by yours truly, as ‘ferrets fighting in a sack’ by numerous others. Commentators are running out of phrases. Now we’re back to ‘rats leaving the sinking ship’ – from Three Line Whip.
Labour’s descent has been so sudden and unexpected. No verbal preparations were carried out, and there is now an urgent need to address the yawning phrasing gap, before writers and bloggers become totally cliche-ridden.
Which other animals, for example might yet be called into play as people attempt to describe the indescribable collapse of Britain’s Labour Party after 11 long years in power. Dead ducks? As someone once said, there is nothing deader than a dead duck. Rats, ferrets, sheep are all still alive. Referring to Labour as anything that breathes and has hope of any future is grossly inaccurate. Commentators should move on. This is a funeral, for God’s sake.
Pay your respects to the passing of the Big Lie. Express the loss of hopes, for sure. Grieve over the wasted years. Mark the passing of the era, and recognise the death of belief, but please don’t see any more life in Labour’s corpse. Labour is gone, no more, late.
Donations should be sent to David Cameron’s Conservatives.