Where Is This Man?

Daily Mirror. Question for you.

Now I might be being presumptious but I believe that you think you are, or claim to a purveyor of news.

Correct? Or are you a front for an espionage organisation, as Iain Dale is rather ludicrously alleging? Where does he get all these ideas from?

If your spies are indeed hanging around in other peoples’ lavatories and places like that, have they seen a missing person anywhere? Can you help me, as I’m trying to find one?

I’m a member of the public and I’m concerned by the falling share markets around the world and all the talk about a credit crunch.

What does it all mean?

Gordon Brown is our Prime Minister yes?

Where is he?

Is he frightened by the fallout coming from this financial mess? He’s not gone into hiding has he because he’s caused this in any way, surely?

If you are too busy collecting dirt on Tories, let me know and I will try others to find the missing Prime Minister. Why not use my idea and make this into a big headline…GORDON’S GONE WALKIES or something. I’ll expect my usual fee.

LAVATORIAL OUTBURST

The Daily Mirror is not a newspaper. It’s produced for the poor to wipe their arses. It is perfectly legitimate for people who cannot afford loo paper to hate Tories. Tories don’t even have to wipe their own. They hire cheap immigrant labour to do it for them.

I think the Mirror needs to infiltrate the Party, and is totally justified in investigating how the other half wipes.

This Emily should have applied to be a toilet cleaner. She’d have got in no trouble, and could have secretly videoed Tories doing their private business. Perfect material for the Editors of The Mirror to peruse on their mobiles, as they jerk off in their coffee break.

The Tap Blog is a collective of like-minded researchers and writers who’ve joined forces to distribute information and voice opinions avoided by the world’s media.
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